Slightly Mad Mummy: Entry 7
The continuing tales of my fabulous (and fatiguing!) flexi-Fridays (and, for now, all other days, too!) with my overexcitability-rich 9-year-old
Many of us, parents and children alike, have, at the very best, mixed feelings about this new lockdown. Flexi-cat, however, is unequivocal: this is the best possible news, and she plans to make the most of it.
Now, I hope I am aware of at least some of the privilege enjoyed at flexi-cat towers that allow for this paws-itive response: we may be cash-poor but we are cat- and garden-rich; mummy has employers who are amazingly understanding of the effects of having a flexi-feline at home with her full-time; flexi-cat also has a laptop of her very own, gifted by her grandma a few years ago as part of a humanitarian care package to aid in the exhausting attempt to sate flexi-cat’s appetite for enrichment and stimulation, and I am sure I could go on.
Yes, in spite of, like every other family, the co-existence of our very own, unique set of challenges and difficulties (which are simply not amusing enough to expand upon here), we are in a privileged position indeed. And yet – although please know this is no call for even the very tiniest of violins – there is a bittersweet element (lemo-chocium…?) to this delirium in the face of Lord Lockdown the Third: it has not escaped my notice what a clear message it is that flexi-cat is unhappy at school and would much rather evolve into full-time home-ed cat. Indeed, for many of our quirky, overexcitable, square peg HLP children, this lockdown is the chance to have a breather from the stresses and constraints of school, and to be themselves. As flexi-cat herself opines: why can’t there be schools in our country just for high learning potential children? Why does the country not care about us? (I know, she never has been one to pass up an opportunity for hyperbole…)
And yet, surely, now of all times, we should just take this positivity and cloak ourselves in it; heck, roll around the floor in it, coating ourselves from head to toe, if needs be. After all, it’s a bumpy old ride right now, and we need all the help we can get. And so, in the spirit of just such cloak-age, here are flexi-cat’s top reasons to be cheerful: lockdown three:
- You don’t have to wear boring uniform; you can dress up and you aren’t condemned to the prison-like constraints of the school system that never allow me to express who I am.
(Mummy: this is going to be tiring, isn’t it…?)
- You can get the schoolwork done really quickly and then spend the rest of the time split between delving deeper into brain disorders (my favourite subject at the moment) and rushing through boring Key Stage 2 workbooks to prove I know it so I can then demand to graduate from annoyance (aka school) early.
(Mummy: send help, please…)
- You can avoid the usual boredom of repetition and if you really do think any of the work from school is truly pointless, you can refuse and get your PA to deal with any consequences.
(Mummy: seriously, please send help. Are smoke signals covid-secure…?)
- You get to read all the new books you got for Christmas
(Mummy: What she is not telling you is that she does not just read them, she practically eats them, too. For flexi-cat, no chew-aid in the world has come close to the delight to be had from a good corner of a book page. Yes, it does provide the enrichment of being able to combine any literary criticism with a culinary one, too (for a list of the top-tasting tomes just get in touch), but it does somewhat hamstring any moneysaving ideas like libraries or selling on books…)
- You can have a break from grumpy people
(Mummy: I seriously wouldn’t count on it…)
- You can make the most of every single minute, doing things all day and all evening long – just make very sure you don’t get fobbed off with TV or films – that is just parents being lazy.
(Mummy: I…I can’t even…)
- You can take the opportunity to spend even more time with your parent. They don’t really need alone time.
(Mummy: okay, okay, I get it: apparently, we are doing this the hard way…so, erm…how does semaphore work again?)
- You can provide invaluable input into your mum’s work
(Mummy: Funny how all zoom comms are avoided like the plague (sorry, too soon…?) unless it’s one of my staff meetings…my colleagues are genuine heroes.)
Sending love and strength and strong coffee for lockdown number three
You can see more from Slightly Mad Mummy, who charts the fabulous (and fatiguing!) flexi-Fridays with her 9 year old (currently identifying as a cat and a Georgian), in flexi-cat lessons and diaries by searching for “slightly mad mummy” on our website.