Exciting, too, for parents, carers and teachers because a major aspect of a child\u2019s self-esteem stems from feeling loved and valued in their early years. Experiences in the home are a key part of this and build (or damage) their comprehension not just of their personal value, but also their sense of being worthy of respect and having \u2018power\u2019 as an individual \u2013 for example, by seeing their behaviour and wishes affect our actions as adults (this is not the same as them simply getting their own way). Knowing this, we can nurture our young people and watch them blossom.<\/p>\n
Self-Esteem<\/h3>\n
Self-esteem is formed over many years and shaped by life experiences and the norms of our educational, religious and family culture(s). Over time, it is shaped further as a young person forms stronger opinions about their personal competence (or \u2018efficacy\u2019). The hope would be for these elements to combine in the high potential learners we care for to create strongly positive self-esteem that underpins level-headed self-belief and informed self-confidence in their ability to cope with challenges.<\/p>\n
As years pass, the enduring traits of \u201cglobal\u201d self-esteem gradually become more entrenched. However, a young person\u2019s \u201cselective\u201d self-esteem may yet cause wobbles (or peaks) while their values take on different \u2018weightings\u2019 in response to key temporary situations or passing moods. Being well-grounded in their values and secure in their principles will help them weather these potential storms, reduce their general worry level and limit unhelpful defensive reactions.<\/p>\n
Maslow and Motivation<\/h3>\n
Maslow\u2019s well-known \u2018Hierarchy of Needs\u2019 places \u2018esteem\u2019 as the fourth of five sequential levels of requirement in life: Physiological, Safety, Social, Esteem and finally Self-Actualisation (or achieving one\u2019s full potential). It is worth considering that until your child\u2019s physical, safety and social needs are met, they may not have the opportunity to embrace positive self-esteem.<\/p>\n
Similarly, Maslow\u2019s model may suggest that a high potential learner is unlikely to be motivated until they are fully achieving, and all lower-level needs are met. Self-actualisation might be the only point at which they are able to stretch their performance, aim for truly challenging goals and feel genuinely proud of their work. Combined with positive self-esteem, this would be a very powerful thing; for your motivated learner to expect to do well, yet be resilient to setbacks.<\/p>\n
Growing Up<\/h3>\n
Life experiences inform a young person\u2019s developing values and self-esteem. The US National Association for Self Esteem describes how \u201cchildren typically value feelings of being likable and lovable, valuing the feedback received from parents or other significant adults. As we approach adolescence their attention begins to shift [\u2026] to the feedback received from their peers. For example, girls at this time typically value their appearance and their popularity with their peers, while boys typically value their athletic prowess.\u201c [i]<\/p>\n
Through teenage years, our dependence on external feedback declines and we develop our own criteria, integrity and sense of success.<\/p>\n
With positive self-esteem and healthy self-confidence, a young person with high learning potential is perfectly placed to become a good role model and strong leader. They can act responsibly and consistently, able to motivate others and gain their trust and respect. They will be able to weather self-doubt and remain balanced during squabbles, not succumbing to angry defensive reactions.<\/p>\n
Self-Esteem and High Learning Potential<\/h3>\n
Having the potential to learn quickly and deeply can be a mixed blessing and actually hinder a child\u2019s ability to judge their \u2018worth\u2019. They may be proud of themselves one minute, then told implicitly or directly by a parent to dial down their enthusiasm or by a teacher to keep quiet about their pre-existing knowledge on a subject. Parents, carers and educators can help greatly by allowing these children to be themselves \u2013 and celebrated<\/em> for it!<\/p>\n A core part of emerging self-esteem relies on a child\u2019s \u201csocial comparison\u201d of their capabilities and attributes compared to peers. Having perhaps become used to being the top-performer in the classroom or Home Education setting, able students of all ages need to be prepared and supported when they enter a learning environment with fellow intellectually-gifted learners. Previously high self-esteem may crash to a devastating low and cause total demotivation, confusion and even depression or a desire to quit.<\/p>\n Continued motivation is key and, alongside high self-esteem, has been confirmed as a fore-runner to academic success. A study of gifted Turkish students found significant correlations, as the resulting extract explains: \u201cUsing a regression analysis, in fourth graders general self-esteem, in fifth graders academic self-esteem, in sixth and seventh graders intrinsic motivations and in eighth graders extrinsic motivation were found to predict academic achievement.\u201d [ii]<\/p>\n Many experiences with our loved ones, educators and even strangers can knock our self-esteem. A huge influence on young people these days, too, are the constant mixed messages from social media and television; as human beings we seem to be vulnerable to believing \u2018bad press\u2019. On top of this, illnesses, stress or difficult life events can negatively affect our outlook.<\/p>\n Furthermore, some children just seem to find it naturally harder to believe in themselves. Some might set impossibly high standards for themselves against which they always feel they are failing; a frequent example of this in high potential learners would be a crippling tendency towards perfectionism.<\/p>\n The NHS has online resources dedicated to \u2018How to have healthy self-esteem\u2019 at https:\/\/www.nhs.uk\/conditions\/stress-anxiety-depression\/raising-low-self-esteem\/<\/a>. You could mentor your child through these stages. First, they should unravel and note down some unhelpful, negative self-beliefs. Next, help them find evidence that this thinking is flawed. Following this, they then write down some positives about themselves. Aim for at least 5 positives and display them as a reminder.<\/p>\n If you feel that negative self-esteem is a particular problem for your child and might be leading to low mood or depression, contact your GP and get advice from reputable sources, such as those below. There are some real-life stories from young people at https:\/\/healthtalk.org\/depression-and-low-mood\/depression-self-and-self-esteem<\/a>.<\/p>\n Consider attractive template books such as: <\/strong><\/p>\n Activities to boost self-esteem and self-confidence: <\/strong><\/p>\n In-depth, guided workbooks: <\/strong><\/p>\n Further Reading: <\/strong><\/p>\n Useful Websites: <\/strong><\/p>\nNegative Self-Esteem<\/h3>\n
Techniques to Try<\/h3>\n
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Resources to Help You to Help Them<\/h3>\n
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