{"id":27104,"date":"2020-05-19T11:34:45","date_gmt":"2020-05-19T11:34:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.potentialplusuk.org\/?p=27104"},"modified":"2023-04-11T17:04:52","modified_gmt":"2023-04-11T16:04:52","slug":"penned-in-poetry-competition-ages-8-11-the-results","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/potentialplusuk.org\/index.php\/2020\/05\/19\/penned-in-poetry-competition-ages-8-11-the-results\/","title":{"rendered":"Penned in Poetry Competition – Ages 8-11 – The Results"},"content":{"rendered":"

Here are the winning and recognised entries in the 8-11 Age Group of the Penned in Poetry competition. The competition was well-received with many entries received from around the world in each age category. The entries were judged by a panel against ten different criteria, including assonance and alliteration, form and flow, rhyme and rhythm, and overall impact. Here is more information about the judging criteria<\/a> and what they mean.<\/p>\n

The panel was made up of highly acclaimed, award-winning professional poet, performer and educator Joshua Seigal<\/a>, author of the Opening Doors series and educationalist Bob Cox<\/a>, Potential Plus UK Young Reporter Fran Glover, and mother\/daughter team family members Martha and Caroline Hooton-Picard.<\/p>\n

The judges commented that the overall standard was very high, and some thoughtful and powerful work was produced. \u201cThese young poets have shown us all that there is a huge spirit of inventiveness, resilience and care out there. There is evidence of top-level potential for writing and crafting ideas in so many ways. Authentic ‘voices’ shone through in many poems. What a pleasure to see such a wide age range involved too. Creativity is alive and well in lockdown.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Winner – First Place<\/span><\/h3>\n

Amelie Elise Kilner. Age: 11 Birdcage<\/em><\/a><\/p>\n

Joint Second Place<\/span><\/h3>\n

Elaine R. Age: 9 On My Window<\/em><\/a><\/p>\n

Yena Park. Age: 11 Bubble<\/em><\/a><\/p>\n

Third Place<\/span><\/h3>\n

Freya Crump. Age: 10 Staying at Home <\/em><\/a><\/p>\n

Highly Commended<\/span><\/h3>\n

Aanvi S. Age: 8 Creativity is in You<\/em><\/a><\/p>\n

Kate Schwartzman. Age: 10 I Stare Out My Window<\/em><\/a><\/p>\n

Archie Vigar. Age: 10 Looking through the Window<\/em><\/a><\/p>\n

Islay Bowman. Age: 11 The Danger of Love<\/em><\/a><\/p>\n

Maria Jaramillo. Age: 11 Rainbow<\/em><\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n

 <\/p>\n

First Place<\/span><\/h2>\n

The judges thought the metaphors in the poem illustrated lockdown really well. They felt it was powerful and technically excellent.<\/em><\/p>\n

Birdcage by Amelie Elise Kilner (aged 11)<\/h3>\n

I am a bird in a cage,
\nTrying to break free.
\nEnclosed, confined to this prison,
\nI flap my wings, but the lock holds fast.
\nI can no longer fly.
\nI am a fish in a net,
\nEngulfed in darkness.
\nStuck, unable to move on,
\nI writhe and wriggle, but the fibres are relentless.
\nI can no longer swim.
\nI am a creature in a zoo,
\nCared for behind thick walls,
\nForced to bear life for others\u2019 benefit.
\nI try to escape, but there is nowhere else to go.
\nI can no longer choose.
\nI am a girl in a house,
\nDesperate for change.
\nAccompanied, still feeling alone,
\nI dream of autonomy, but reality snatches it back.
\nI can no longer see the world.
\nI am a bird in a cage<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n

 <\/p>\n

Joint Second Place<\/span><\/h2>\n

The judges thought repetition in this poem gave it a powerful effect.<\/em><\/p>\n

On My Window by Elaine Victoria Runtukahu (aged 9)<\/h3>\n

On my window,
\nI saw the trees dancing upon the breeze,
\nIt\u2019s like they are calling me out to join them,
\nBut, it is only on my window.<\/p>\n

Not for the men and women who work to fight with this virus.<\/p>\n

Not for the men and women who deliver all things for us.<\/p>\n

Not for the men and women who help us for our medicines.<\/p>\n

Not for the men and women who teach us from a far.<\/p>\n

Not for the men and women who drive us to buy things.
\nAnd for that,
\nFrom my window,
\nI want to say thank you very much.<\/p>\n

From my window,
\nI want to say that you all are heroes without a cape.<\/p>\n

From my window,
\nI want to say,
\nVirus… you are not as pretty as your name \u2018Corona\u2019,
\nPlease\u2026..go away sooner,
\nSo I can dance with the trees.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n

 <\/p>\n

Joint Second Place<\/span><\/h2>\n

The judges loved the extended metaphor in the poem and felt that it had a really good impact<\/em><\/p>\n

Bubble by Yena Park (aged 11)<\/h3>\n

When the clock on the wall is no longer relevant
\nWhen I can\u2019t tell day from night
\nWhen I don\u2019t know how to manage time<\/p>\n

Inside the bubble
\nA world of creativity
\nIs trapped in a cage
\nWaiting to be let free<\/p>\n

Inside the bubble
\nThere are
\nNo sports
\nNo activities
\nNo school
\nIt\u2019s all quarantine<\/p>\n

Danger lurks outside
\nBe careful who you touch
\nOr who you talk with<\/p>\n

Hatred unleashes its anger outside the bubble
\nI stay inside
\nI can\u2019t act
\nI can\u2019t change the things outside my bubble<\/p>\n

My bubble is the only thing I can change
\nFutile efforts provide no results
\nMy bubble never changes
\nIn a never-ending loop
\nMy brain grows dull
\nAnd tired
\nStop this torture<\/p>\n

The bubble is relentless
\nYou can never go outside
\nYou can never harness your outdoor passions
\nThe bubble drains your motivation and energy
\nYou are left with nothing<\/p>\n

When the bubble starts to weaken
\nI pound against it
\nI search outside the bubble in hopes of freedom
\nNews from outside the bubble reach my husk but alas,
\nThe bubble traps me inside<\/p>\n

Somewhere else
\nSomewhere I know
\nSomewhere that is deep in my heart
\nThere is no bubble
\nThey don\u2019t require the bubble
\nThey are free<\/p>\n

My husk rams into the bubble, invigorated
\nIt begins to deflate like a helium balloon
\nA spark of emotion manifests itself
\nI ram against the bubble again
\nSuddenly, it is tough like concrete
\nI never know when I\u2019ll get outside<\/p>\n

The news outside strengthens the bubble
\nThey set a deadline for when the bubble will burst
\nMay 16 the bubble will weaken
\nWe can burst it<\/p>\n

My heart fills with joy
\nMy husk bubbles up again
\nI am a person with a deadline
\nI need deadlines
\nThey give me motivation
\nThey give me passion<\/p>\n

I look at the bubble
\nI smile
\nI know it\u2019s there
\nI accept the bubble
\nI know it\u2019ll burst soon
\nThe bubble may come back
\nI am ready for the bubble to come back
\nAre you ready for the bubble to come back?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n

 <\/p>\n

Third Place<\/span><\/h2>\n

The judges said that this poem left them with a feeling of optimism and they loved the change of perspective and the overall impact this gave.<\/em><\/p>\n

Staying at Home by Freya Crump \u00a0(aged 10)<\/h3>\n

When you\u2019re stuck at home,
\nThere are many random things you do,
\nLike drawing with an oven glove,
\nAnd walking six miles too,<\/p>\n

When you\u2019re stuck at home,
\nThe schoolwork is just as bad,
\nThere are so many boring things to do,
\nIt sometimes drives you mad,<\/p>\n

When you\u2019re stuck at home,
\nYou\u2019ll find you cannot spend your purse,
\nFor six months, twelve months,
\nOr maybe even worse,<\/p>\n

But\u2026<\/p>\n

When you\u2019re SAFE at home,
\nYour pets (especially mine),
\nWill always be here,
\nAll the time,<\/p>\n

When you\u2019re SAFE at home,
\nYou\u2019ll find time for everything,
\nLike drawing, painting, cooking,
\nYou\u2019ll even find time to sing,<\/p>\n

When you\u2019re SAFE at home,
\nJoy will spread like a disease,
\nAnd the worried feeling about Covid-19,
\nWill slowly start to ease,<\/p>\n

Remember that you\u2019re safe not stuck,
\nFun times will still come your way,
\nAnd if you ever get bored at this time,
\nRemember, it will all end one day!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n

 <\/p>\n

Highly Commended<\/span><\/h2>\n

The judges thought this poem had very good technical strengths<\/em><\/p>\n

Creativity is in You by Aanvi S. (aged 8)<\/h3>\n

Staying at home is
\nQuite like a game
\nCreativity is calling
\nOur name.
\nAs old as you get
\nThere is still hope in this time
\nYour creative side unfolds.
\nPaint can be a lifesaver
\nIt is true in this time
\nTake the chance
\nTo be you.
\nYour creative side
\nIs about to unfold
\nLockdown is a creative hole.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n

 <\/p>\n

Highly Commended<\/span><\/h2>\n

The judges thought that this poem was beautiful to read<\/em><\/p>\n

I Stare Out My Window by Kate Schwatzman \u00a0(aged 10)<\/h3>\n

I stare out my window
\nonly to see,
\ntwo people
\noutside on the street.
\nI feel so sad
\nI can\u2019t walk around
\nOn my face is a frown.<\/p>\n

My friends and I
\nWant to see the playground
\nExcept we know
\nthat it\u2019s all brown
\nno colorful shirts, no colorful cleats
\njust the sound of the lonely street.<\/p>\n

No one believes
\nwhat the world has become
\nthis all is happening
\nfast as the rising sun.<\/p>\n

I stare out my window
\nonly to see
\ntwo people
\noutside
\non the street.<\/p>\n

Internet’s down
\nI have nothing to play
\nThe only thing
\nI can really do
\nis say,
\n\u201cI stare out my window
\nonly to see
\ntwo people
\noutside
\non the street\u201d.<\/p>\n

Life is now lonely
\nwithout all my friends
\nI just can\u2019t wait
\nuntil this tragedy ends.<\/p>\n

I stare out my window
\nonly to see,
\ntwo people
\noutside on the street.<\/p>\n

Both look sad,
\nand now I can see
\nit’s because
\nWe’ve all faced defeat.<\/p>\n

I stare out my window
\nonly to see,
\ntwo people outside
\non the street.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n

 <\/p>\n

Highly Commended<\/span><\/h2>\n

The judges thought this poem was powerful and had a good overall impact<\/em><\/p>\n

Looking through the Window by Archie Vigar\u00a0(aged 10)<\/h3>\n

Looking through the window I can see<\/p>\n

a restless flock of birds flying around
\nnot sure of where to go, not sure
\nof where their end is<\/p>\n

Looking through the window I can see<\/p>\n

next door\u2019s tree, it\u2019s fairy lights
\nfor the Thursday clap shine
\nred, yellow, green \u2013 how
\nmany there are I don\u2019t know<\/p>\n

Looking through the window I can see
\nme. My reflection shines back
\nat me from the clear glass.
\nThere are spiders\u2019
\nwebs with dew
\ndropping off them<\/p>\n

Looking through the window<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n

 <\/p>\n

Highly Commended<\/span><\/h2>\n

The judges thought this poem was beautiful, original and had good impact<\/em><\/p>\n

The Danger of Love by Islay Bowman \u00a0(aged 11)<\/h3>\n

His fingers pressed lightly on the piano keys,
\nAs he swayed back and forth over his hands,
\nThe day his love drowned in the black sea,
\nHe tore out his hair in strands,<\/p>\n

The music rang as clear as day,
\nAnd a glass tear ran down his face,
\nHe could feel his loves soft lips touching his,
\nAnd her slim body dressed in black lace,<\/p>\n

Her eyes like marbles full of sunsets and storms,
\nAnd the gentle cool dancing of ice,
\nFreezing the fire of love that burnt his heart,
\nTo have those eyes back he would pay any price…<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n

 <\/p>\n

Highly Commended<\/span><\/h2>\n

The judges thought this poem was technically very good and had a good rhythm<\/em><\/p>\n

Rainbow by Maria Jaramillo \u00a0(aged 11)<\/h3>\n

Rainbows brighten the skies,
\nThis one will brighten our lives,
\nFight on NHS,
\nOur knights in shining scrubs,
\nWe clap for you on Thursdays,
\nBut our thoughts are with you always,
\nThose infected please be strong,
\nThose self-isolating please carry on,
\nProtect yourself but also others,
\nBrothers; sisters; fathers; mothers,
\nWe can all do our part,
\nWe all have it in our heart,
\nI wish for peace,
\nBecause our love for this world will never cease,
\nPlease be brave,
\nAnd eventually Covid will cave,
\nBe patient and keep on fighting
\nAnd if we do so – we will witness the whole world uniting.<\/p>\n

\n

See Joshua Seigal\u2019s tips for writing poetry at: Tips for Budding Poets<\/a> and find out more about his books here: Little Lemur Laughing<\/a> and Welcome to My Crazy Life<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Discover Bob Cox\u2019s Opening Doors series here: Opening Doors to Famous Poetry and Prose<\/a> and Opening Doors to Quality Writing: Ideas for Writing Inspired by Great Writers for Ages 10 to 13<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Here are the winning and recognised entries in the 8-11 Age Group of the Penned in Poetry competition. 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