{"id":15614,"date":"2019-06-18T12:10:26","date_gmt":"2019-06-18T12:10:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.potentialplusuk.org\/?p=15614"},"modified":"2022-06-21T13:55:27","modified_gmt":"2022-06-21T12:55:27","slug":"hlp-parenting-sleep-deprivation-in-parents","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/potentialplusuk.org\/index.php\/2019\/06\/18\/hlp-parenting-sleep-deprivation-in-parents\/","title":{"rendered":"HLP Parenting: Sleep Deprivation in Parents"},"content":{"rendered":"

A high proportion of High Learning Potential (HLP) children experience unusual sleep patterns. These can include insomnia, active dreams, sleep talking, sleep walking, frequent waking or simply needing only a relatively short time asleep compared to \u2018neuro-typical\u2019 friends. Whereas this can be problematic for the child, what about the impact of long-term sleep deprivation on their parents or carers?<\/p>\n

Science does not yet fully understand the relationship between gifted children and insomnia; however, it does seem to indicate that a full, restful night\u2019s sleep helps protect young and old alike against many things from simple temporary tiredness to being prone to accidents and serious illness.<\/p>\n

Sleep Deprivation In Carers<\/strong><\/p>\n

The issue of long-term sleep deprivation in carers of HLP children is all too often overlooked. Whereas images of life with a new-born baby stereotypically include sleepless nights; comedians, magazines or even your own friends and GP don\u2019t expect you will endure broken sleep for 12 years rather than 12 months. For sleep-deprived parents who may be a decade into raising their HLP child(ren), support can feel impossible to find and certainly not on a par with the seriousness of the situation in many households.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt is common for HLP guardians to struggle with tiredness because their children \u2013 and therefore they<\/em>, too \u2013 are constantly \u2018switched on\u2019. Often there is no respite even at night-time as their child sits up reading aloud long after the adults have gone to bed [\u2026or they] routinely fail to sleep through the night. [\u2026] Unchecked, this can build up inside any carer and lead to feeling overwhelmed, worn out or even angry and resentful. This is totally understandable. The important thing is to take your own wellbeing very seriously, so that you have the mental and physical strength to cope calmly and lovingly \u2013 not just with your own challenges, but also with those of your high potential youngster.\u201d PPUK Wellbeing for Carers<\/a><\/p>\n

Finding Support<\/strong><\/p>\n

Consider an 11-year-old who, over the whole of his life, has only \u2018slept through\u2019 a small handful of times. His mother was diagnosed with exhaustion and ironically given sleeping tablets! Her friends got fed up of hearing about it and decided her son was just badly behaved. They recommended disciplining him, which simply made his mother feel guilty and did nothing to stop him being wide awake at 2am. After learning more about High Learning Potential, she began to understand differently, reassessed her son\u2019s busy brain and started to find strategies that helped them both<\/em> get some sleep.<\/p>\n

However disheartening it can be to feel your friends, family and GP don\u2019t understand the true nature and depth of your sleep issues, in some households, a further layer of stress can be the knock-on reaction of a partner, other children or elderly relatives. As you look out for everyone\u2019s needs, it is crucial you also look out for your own. Find your own time of relaxation. Eat well. Resist your phone screen at bedtime. Ask for help and support from others in the household.<\/p>\n

Does your child\u2019s insomnia mean they rarely receive sleepover invitations? It is crucial you occasionally get to sleep through the night in your own bed, go out for the evening or have a short break away to recharge your batteries. You need this time to rebuild your strengths and to put quality time into your relationships with a co-parent, special friends, your wider support network\u2026or yourself<\/em>! \u00a0Sometimes you have to simply be very honest and ask<\/em> close friends or family for help in a way that works for you.<\/p>\n

Anxiety<\/strong><\/p>\n

When a child\u2019s behaviour points towards anxiety, you may need to involve your GP, a counsellor or CAMHS contact if you have one. Potential Plus UK\u2019s free fact sheet PA 606 \u2013 Worry and Anxiety in High Learning Potential Children<\/a> may help you.<\/p>\n

However, as we help our children deal with their worries, we must also look after ourselves. Are you<\/em> anxious? Do you<\/em> know how to relax? Demonstrate the behaviour you would like others to copy and you will all<\/em> benefit. For example, begin to meditate together, consider carefully the foods you all eat or go to the GP with your child to focus on their sleep disturbances \u2013but also alone, to take seriously its effects on you<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Helping Your Child<\/strong><\/p>\n